Friday, February 25, 2011

First SAC paragraph drafting...

So, as we covered in class this morning, here is the sample paragraph we re-drafted.  The first version, the original, is the one that obviously needs work.  The second one, the improved version, is an example of how to drastically improve your writing, just by making a few simple changes and addressing the structure of your writing.


Original
Pearce applies a fearful and an alarmed response which causes a sense of safety among the audience, “…dangerous…” which indicates that Wikileaks cannot handle confidential information appropriately which may lead to a country and it’s government in a hazardous situation.  The shocking response from the audience causes to doubt the attention of the audience which leads to an alerted response.  Wikileaks should treat information appropriately and should not place a higher personage in jeopardy and unethically expose information that should remain private.

Improved
Pearce contends via fearful and inflammatory language that WikiLeaks is “...dangerous…” and cannot handle confidential information appropriately.  This assertion is clearly aimed at suggesting to the audience that should this information continue to be handled inappropriately, this could place a country and its government in a hazardous situation.  By utilising such words as “dangerous”, and presenting his argument in a far more aggressive tone than his gentler opening paragraph, the author is potentially intending to alarm his audience and perhaps try and force them to pay more heed to the message he is providing.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Practice SAC Number 2

Yo.

So here's the body paragraph we wrote as a class yesterday.  I've tweaked and drafted it a little to make it read a little better, but it's largely still the same.


Elissa Massimino passionately expresses her belief in the importance of Internet freedom and attempts to emotionally invoke the audience into understanding and appreciating her point of view.  The importance of “the safety of innocent people”, Massimino highlights, is one of the most important restrictions that needs to be placed upon WikiLeaks.  This is, however, the only restriction that needs to be put in place in her opinion.  Massimino is possibly trying to frighten her audience by highlighting that “…governments and companies…pose a threat to fundamental rights.”  This tonal shift towards aggression when discussing the US government and businesses compared to the more genial tone expressed towards Julain Asange in the previous paragraph, highlights clearly the author’s opinion of both parties and her obvious intention to persuade the audience to feel the same way.

The original article is linked below, in case you've misplaced it.  You now need to write the rest of the essay yourself.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Your third short story...

This one is an absolute cracker!  I've always enjoyed reading this one to students...the subject matter of the story is purely coincidental of course.  You'll see what I mean when you read it.

Despite being kind of a horror/thriller story, it has some really nice use of language in it too.  Pay attention to the way the author is able to paint a picture for his audience with a sophisticated use of language, imagery and the detail with which he writes.  As you read, you can clearly imagine the setting, events and characters he is writing about.  This style, or use of language, might be something you experiment with and try and incorporate into your own writing.

This week's story is by the famous horror writer, Stephen King.  I first discovered this story in the short story collection "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" which was published in 1993.  The story was first published, however, back in 1972 in an American magazine called "Cavalier".

Stephen King wanted to include it in his short story collection called "Night Shift" which was published in 1978, but was talked into dropping it from the book by his publisher.  It didn't see the light of day again until "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" came out around 17 years ago.

That's how I eventually became familiar with it and now I'm passing it on to you guys.

Enjoy.

"Suffer the Little Children" by Stephen King

Hally

Practice SAC Sample

Yo.

So following today's after school sesh we came up with a decent partial response to the practice SAC we did the other day.  This isn't a completed essay obviously, it is merely a couple of body paragraphs.  I've attached the original practice SAC article and instructions, in case you've misplaced it, as well as the sample response we wrote this afternoon.

Practice SAC

Practice SAC Sample Response

Peace out,

Hally

My email address...

So, thought I'd already put this up, but apparently I hadn't.  If you want to send me drafts, or questions, or whatevers in the future, the best address to get hold of me with is below:

hally@occupied.com.au

Sunday, February 13, 2011

English Exam 2010 Assessment Report

Hey all.

As promised, here is the Assessment Report for the 2010 English Exam that we looked at in class this morning.  I've uploaded the exam too, so you can have a look.

2010 Exam
2010 Exam Assessment Report

Monday, February 7, 2011

Language Analysis Introduction Generator

Yo.

Even though, as I was saying today, it's a really good idea to steer away from writing formulaic responses with your essays, here is the introduction generator I made that might help you with your introductions if you're really struggling.  The formatting of the generated intro is dodgy (I still haven't fixed that one yet), but apart from that it works.

Click here to check it out.

Hally

Sunday, February 6, 2011

An article for Language Analysis

Yo.

Below is the link to an article you might want to write about as a practice for Language Analysis.  It's quite long, but it has a lot of stuff in there to write about.

"I'm Tired" by Robert A. Hall

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Your first short story...

OK, so as part of your course this year, I've decided that you all need to be exposed to different styles and types of writing to gain a greater understanding of how language can be used intelligently and creatively.

Now, it's unrealistic if I give you extra novels to read each week on top of your Year 12 workload, so each Friday, I'll publish a link to a short story, or article, or blog, or whatever really.  Just something that is short and sweet (compared to a whole book anyway) that will expose you to different writing styles and ideas.

You don't have to write a response to these pieces of writing in class, or get assessed on it, but if there's something such as a phrase, or a even a word, or concept that you really like in the piece of writing write it up as a new post on your own blog.  It might be an idea that you want to use for your own creative story/article, it might be a personal response to what the piece of writing was about, it might be a sentence or two about what you thought of the piece of writing, or it might just be the definition of a cool sounding word the piece of writing used that you want to remember to use in one of your upcoming SACs.

Whatever it might be, just add a short and sweet post to your blog and as the year progresses, you'll have a random collection of ideas, thoughts, writings, etc. that you can reflect on and use to develop and improve your own writing.  You're not always going to like the story/article necessarily, but simply reading and understanding it, will help you develop and improve your own skills and awareness of the world around you.

Eventually, I'd like you to start writing paragraphs, short stories, little ideas, etc. to your blog as well, but let's just start off with reading a story.

Your first story for the year is called "Shooting Tuvia" by a quirky Israeli author named Etgar Keret.  It's only six and a bit pages long, so should only take you about ten minutes or so to read.

Click here to read it, or right-click on the link and choose "Save Link As..." or whatever it says similar, to save it to your computer/USB Drive.

I look forward to reading your posts in response.

Cheers,

Hally

General VCE Stuff

Hey peeps.

Have uploaded a presentation called "7 Steps to Prepare for VCE".  It's got a voiceover and Powerpoint running at the same time (goes for about 16 minutes) with a guy from the website "VCE Help" giving some ideas and hints about little things you can do to ensure you do better in Year 12.  It's worth a look and will only take 16 minutes of your life.  The presentation can be viewed by clicking here.

Cheers,

Hally